Can you feel a brand new day?!

On the eve of the new year, I am reflecting, giving thanks and becoming excited about the possibilities. 2007 is coming to a close, and it has been a full year! A year full of trials (trials that we made it through!), blessings (especially the birth of my healthy, Juicy Boy one day after his due date, in spite of his premature intro), and growth (my hair(style)--thanks Omi, mind, and spirit)! I'm sure you can tell it has also been a year of excitement by all of the exclamation points that I've been using:) I am thankful to God for all of last year. Yes, even the trials. They say that without valleys, you never truly enjoy the mountain top experiences. The mountain top experiences are awesome -- as in the real definition of the word, not the valley girl word that everyone uses when they see their newly transformed room on television.

I am looking forward to more mountain top experiences. In 2008, I am focused on the Ps. In 2008...I will be Prayerful. I will Praise God. I will be Positive. I will Progress. I will be Prosperous. I will live in Peace.

I wish these Ps and more for you and your family in 2008. Happy New Year! Can't you feel a brand new day?!

Happy Birthday Mommy! I LOVE YOU!

Today is my mommy's birthday. She is a phenominal woman! I love her very much. This is her favorite version of Happy Birthday, so join me in wishing the best mother in the world (in my opinion!!!) a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! Go Glo! It's your birthday! We're gonna party like it's your birthday!!!
Love, Jillie

The Reason for the Season...

I am feeling the Christmas Spirit, but I know some of you are not. Christmas is a tough time of year for many people. When your feeling you're funk, sing this Heather Headley song from a couple years back, He Is. I know this song was played on the radio and many people thought it was about her man. Well, Rev. Hicks, pastor of Metropolitan Baptist Church in Washington DC, broke this song down in a sermon that I will never forget.

Heather Headley sings...He is..the mind injector, the heart protector, the soul defender of anything I fear, the baby conceiver, the make me believer, the joy bringer, the love giver He is the dough increaser, the pleasure releaser ,the hard knocks knower without the scars to show ya, the night school teacher, the good life preacher, the caretaker, the kiss craver, He is the make it alright to get you through the night ,the soul defender of anything I fear, The pain remover, bad times undoer, the joy bringer, the love giver.

When you think about it, God is this and so much more. That is enough to make a smile permeate my heart. I hope it reaches yours...

It's the most wonderful time of the year!

This is my favorite time of year! I love the Christmas season! Bear says that I'm like Will Ferrell in ELF, "Santa's Coming!!!!!!!" I get excited the evening of Thanksgiving because WDAS starts playing Christmas carols. My heart feels good singing about and celebrating about the most amazing gift I've ever received...the birth of Christ.

This is the time of year when people seem to understand what it means to celebrate the birth of Christ by being Christ-like. It is the time of year when all Christians give of themselves. People give time to others by spending time with the elderly, sick, and shut in. They sing carols or read stories or just talk about the goodness in the air. People give their talents by performing, creating, crafting, baking, and cooking. People give their energy to plan, coordinate, support, supervise, execute programs, dinners, luncheons, breakfasts, performances and parties. People give their money to help those who are less fortunate than they are. They adopt families and provide them with gifts - a mixture of items they need and want. They adopt children at schools to ensure that they wake with a smile on Christmas morning when they see presents under the tree, and get just what they wanted. People give way...their spirit is more compromising and open, eliminating the negative.

This is a time when the innocence, hope and wonder of children is transferred to adults also. It is a time of belief. Children are told the story of Santa. They hear about him and his magical powers. They never see him, but see evidence of him. They aren't sure how he completes his task, but they believe. Those children are like adults believing in Christ. They hear about him and his magical powers. They don't see Him, but see evidence of him daily. They aren't sure how He continues to bless us in so many ways, but they believe. That's belief is the celebration of the birth and life of Christ. I love sharing my belief in Christ and the celebration of His guidance, sacrifice and good as a collective whole during this season.

I participate in the spiritual celebration of the birth of Christ during this time. I also participate in putting lights and candles on the outside of houses to signify that we believe in Jesus, the Light of the World. Think about that as you drive around to look at home designs. What a wonderful energy to know that those people are believers. I participate in putting up and decorating an evergreen because God is never changing...He is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. I participate in giving gifts because God gave us the ultimate present...Christ.

I participate in singing Handel's Messiah while putting up the Christmas tree (because my daddy started that tradition). I participate in keeping the gifts for Princess, Juicy Boy (his first!!!), Bear, my family and friends a secret. I participate in getting excited when I think I've found the perfect gift. I participate in staying up late on Christmas Eve with Bear putting together those special gifts with lots of decals, strong wire (Barbie will never slip out of her box!), and tons of tape so they will be waiting when the kids wake in the morning. I participate in making butter cookies, chocolate chip cookies, and now gingerbread cookies with Princess and NeeNee (because NeeNee did that with Uncle Brownie and I and it the memories just feel right). I participate in spending time visiting friends and family to share in a communal Spirit of Love and Light. I participate in sending and receiving Christmas cards to say I'm thinking of you and to wish that the blessings of the season continue through the next year. I participate in watching the Christmas cartoons (I'm Mr. Heatmiser, I'm Mr. Sun...) with Princess and remembering watching it with Buddah and NeeNee. I participate in cooking a good meal for Christmas day. I participate in dancing with my mom and aunt and singing from out serving spoons in the kitchen...All these things and more....That's what Christmas means to me!

chocolate rain...

Okay, in the past,I've checked out youtube.com when someone told me about a funny video, or when I was trying to share a funny video with someone else. I've also gone to youtube.com to hear a new song, or an old favorite (as you can tell from previous posts), or to check out a new dance. So, when I read about this guy with a frog voice singing about chocolate rain, I went on to check it out.

This guy, Tay Zonday, is an ageless (Is he 17 or 43?), skinny, Black guy singing in a bare studio with an extremely deep baritone. He is expressionless and has some quirky tendencies which you can view on the video. There are a lot of people writing about Tay Zonday on the internet. Some people think he's great and hilariously funny, without trying to be, which is even more funny. Other people think he's coonin' and really needs to stop the madness. Well, I looked at the video and was struck by his quirkiness, his voice, and yes, his appearance. But the song, Chocolate Rain, would not get out of my head!!! I played the video a second time and this time caught some of his lyrics...hey, he's talking about some serious societal ills/realities. This guy may seem like a joke, but listen to what he's saying...

Chocolate Rain
Some stay dry and others feel the pain
Chocolate Rain
A baby born will die before the sin
Chocolate Rain
The school books say it can't be here again
Chocolate Rain
The prisons make you wonder where it went
Chocolate Rain
Build a tent and say the world is dry
Chocolate Rain
Zoom the camera out and see the lie
Chocolate Rain
Forecast to be falling yesterday
Chocolate Rain
Only in the past is what they say
Chocolate Rain
Raised your neighborhood insurance rates
Chocolate Rain
Makes us happy livin' in a gate
Chocolate Rain
Made me cross the street the other day
Chocolate Rain
Made you turn your head the other way
(Chorus)Chocolate Rain
quickly crashing through your veins history
Chocolate Rain
Using you to fall back down again[Repeat]
Chocolate Rain
Seldom mentioned on the radio
Chocolate Rain
Its the fear your leaders call control
Chocolate Rain
Worse than swearing worse than calling names
Chocolate Rain
Say it publicly and you're insane
Chocolate Rain
No one wants to hear about it now
Chocolate Rain
Wish real hard it goes away somehow
Chocolate Rain
Makes the best of friends begin to fight
Chocolate Rain
But did they know each other in the light?
Chocolate Rain
Every February washed away
Chocolate Rain
Stays behind as colors celebrate
Chocolate Rain
The same crime has a higher price to pay
Chocolate Rain
The judge and jury swear it's not the face
(Chorus)
Chocolate Rain
Dirty secrets of economy
Chocolate Rain
Turns that body into GDP
Chocolate Rain
The bell curve blames the baby's DNA
Chocolate Rain
But test scores are how much the parents make
Chocolate Rain
Flippin' cars in France the other night
Chocolate Rain
Cleans the sewers out beneath Mumbai
Chocolate Rain
'Cross the world and back its all the same
Chocolate Rain
Angels cry and shake their heads in shame
Chocolate Rain
Lifts the ark of paradise in sin
Chocolate Rain
Which part do you think you're livin' in?
Chocolate Rain
More than marchin' more than passing law
Chocolate Rain
Remake how we got to where we are.

Tay Zonday is no Langston Hughes (but how many people are?), Amiri Baraka, or Maurice White (yes of EW&F), but his words cause us to stop, look, listen, and respond. Chocolate Rain talks of the daily experience of brown people around the world...

Now, choosing to post this poem/work as a song on youtube.com may seem like he's just out there for laughs. Is he really out there for laughs or is he spreading his message like wild fire to those who wouldn't have a conversation about it, read it in a book, or hear it at spoken word night? Is he crafty? Is he creatively getting out a message that sometimes hurts, stings, and makes us cry? Who's getting the last laugh? You decide...

Chocolate Rain...

Proud Mommy

Today was a day of challenge. I had to deal with a challenge at work that got me fired up! I mean so fired up that I had to have some friends talk to me, help me focus, and calm down. I was still a little fired up when I went to pick up Princess from school...and then I saw her. She slowly started putting out the fire as soon as I saw her face and just took her all in...talking 100 miles a minute. Then when I got home, Juicy Boy, gave me the biggest grin and crawled to me so quickly so that there was only smoldering coals in my system. Bear greeted me with open arms and a hug that melted all of the hurt away. All that was left, was a memory of the fire.

I am thankful for my family. I love my family. I am a proud mommy of two wonderful children. They make me laugh, smile, fill up, run, jump, dance, giggle, sigh, cry (with joy and pain), and just feel good. Juicy Boy, my miracle child, (you can't tell that this time last year, he and I were talking, praying and working with God so he would stay in the womb) is standing up and inching along. My big boy, aka Mitts, (yeah, he's really a big boy) loves to pull up on the back of your legs and hold on while you walk. He's on his way! He is also developing a humorous little personality. He laughs appropriately at what you say to him. He makes eyes at women. Juicy Boy makes the best giggle when you dance with him. When the rhythm hits him, he starts clapping. You should have seen him at the Nutcracker performance we went to last Saturday (thanks to my Pittsburgh crew). Juicy Boy grins constantly...and, checks people out (he and Uncle Brownie had a little contest at Thanksgiving;) Oh, and he looks a lot like his Uncle Brownie did at this age. He loves, loves, loves, his sister. He especially love the princess when she pulls him on a blanket. Now whenever he sees a blanket, he crawls up to it, spreads out, and waits for her to take him on his ride! Juicy Boy is love!

My princess is...my princess. She is growing like a weed. (Her pants that were bought at the beginning of the school year are floods. Yeah, they are so bad that it looks like Noah is coming any day now.) She is a dancing, singing, acting, foreign language speaking (the French that they teach in school, the Spanish that her BFF speaks, and her made up language when she's feeling left out when others are speaking a language she doesn't know!), drawing, cutting, baking ball of energy. She has a great personality that sometimes transforms her into "Dramatica!" Princess gives wonderful hugs and kisses. She still likes to be sung to sleep sometimes. She likes to go to church. She loves dresses and watching basketball and football with her daddy. She is adding numbers at school. She is learning to write in cursive and read!!! I screamed when she brought home her first practice sheets of cursive writing. She loves life. She loves her daddy (she's always saying "just the two of us" to him) and she loves her baby brother. She is magical...

Thank you Lord for the INCOMING blessing of family love. Thank you Lord for my Bear (his post is coming soon). Thank you Lord for my babies...

Happy Feelin's in the Air!

I'm on my break at school and blogging...I can't believe it, but I felt the need to write. I am busy. I know we all are busy with life's schedules...go to work, drop off children at school, complete assignments, make deadlines, go home, bring home the bacon, fry it up in the pan, and never ever let him forget he's my man! ('cause I'm a woman, Enjoli.) I'm sorry, I got caught up in the song. I am busy. Busier than usual, but...I am not freaking out. I'm happy.

I am happy to be busy because there are a lot of INCOMING blessings that are making me busy. After writing about my need to complete the book I started four years ago, I completed it! The book is a reflection of how I feel about my children, Princess and Juicy Boy. They are indeed blessings. I am now in the process of finding a good agent so I can get it published (If you know of one, or how to get a good agent, please let me know). God is good.

I am also creating cards (and gift bags, and jewelry boxes, and lunchboxes)again. Jillybeans cards are back! I will be participating in a home show on Friday (thanks ms. espresso). I have also been asked to create a special line of cards to accompany jewelry sales (thanks gem of a friend). What a wonderful opportunity to stretch me to develop another line of cards. I have quite a few to do, but I am excited and thankful for the opportunity. I am enjoying the process... God is good.

I am also enjoying blogging. This blog really makes me thankful for all of the blessings I receive. It also makes me look at challenging situations to watch out for the INCOMING blessings. The blog has afforded me the opportunity to have some amazing conversations about God, life, motherhood, marriage, finding your "thing"/talent, and using your gifts. I wish many of those conversations were on the blog as comments (because everyone I speak with has some good stuff to say)...but I know that you, my friends, will respond to the blog and post comments when you feel the urge...God is good.

I am thankful for this busy energy, this creative energy, this openness because it lacks stress. When I realized it wasn't present, I was thankful for moving forward with grace, strength, and abundance while living, laughing, learning, and loving. God is good. So, as Frankie Beverly says, "I've seen the Light, Watched it shine down on me, I'm gonna spread my wings yeah, An' I'm gonna tell all I've seen, These happy feelin's (feel that happy feelin'), I'll spread them all over the world, From deep in my soul, I wish you Happy Feelin's!

i am black. i am unique.

I am Black. I am unique. Those are six words that my princess knows how to read. They are from the book Shades of Black which are on my Shelfari bookshelf below. I am so glad that my princess knows these words, knows how beautiful her brown skin is, knows how beautiful all the shades of brown of her family and friends are. I am glad that she has a comforter set with black ballerinas on them (i was on ebay workin' it out!). I am glad that all of her dolls (and Black Barbie heads...yes Godmommy, it was worth the trip) are various shades of brown. I am glad that her towels have black ballerinas on them. I am glad that she has a turtleneck with a brown girl ice skating (i found it at tj maxx). I am glad that she has many books with illustrations that look like her (thanks to all of the family and friends who fill her book baskets with these treasures). I am glad that Bear and I celebrate being Black and unique.

You know why I am glad for these things? Earlier in the month, my princess came home from school and told me that one of her "friends" in school told her that "only light skinned people can come to her party." Well...I was shocked and appalled. The clown in me said to Princess, "well you're light skinned, so you can go." Then I stopped, got serious, and asked her how the situation went down. She said she and her BFFs (one's Puerto Rican and light like my princess and one's family is from Bangladesh and brown like my brother) were together and the girl told them that only light skinned people could come to her party. I asked Princess what she said. She said she told the girl that she didn't care and that it wasn't nice. I told her that the next time she sees that chick (yes, that's who she bacame once she messed with my baby) to tell her how beautiful her brown skin is. Tell her that she doesn't want to be at a party where people are only liked because of the way they look. I also told her to play with other people and stick with her BFFs.

I was on FIRE internally. I wanted to meet that chick in the parking lot at three o'clock the next day! I was going to jack her up!!! I am friendly with her parents. We have voluntarily socialized with them outside of school and this message didn't fit with the interactions I've had. So when I heard this mess, I had to step back and think about where this chick got the message that light skinned was better. Did her parents know she was spouting evil mess like that? Was it really what her parents thought? Did she hear it at home? Where did she get that message and why did she feel the need to tell my brown baby and her brown friends? Then I realized that I really didn't care.

I didn't care who or where the message came from. What I cared about is that it was the first incident that my baby had with people judging her or people like her based on the way they looked...the color of their skin. It was her first racial incident...she's only four! DAMN! I took my energy and reflected on what I told Princess (in my calm Mommy voice). She and her friends are beautiful with their pretty brown skin. Princess said, "Yeah Mommy, like in the song A Pretty Little Baby (Nikki Giovanni that Glo hipped her to)." Yeah Princess, just like in your book, Shades of Black. You know what she said to me..."I am Black. I am unique." What an blessing in the midst of madness!

I thank God for this intelligent, creative, giving spirit who is a proud little Black girl. I thank God for my Princess.

Now don't think that I let this go. I interrogated her about what that chick said to her every day!!! I was about to 'pproach a chick if she stepped out of line again. Don't mess with my baby!! I haven't spoken to her parents about it yet. My namesake said I should tell her parents. Part of me wants to have the conversation with them, but part of me doesn't care to talk to them about it. What I care about is my child. I care about loving my child, providing my child with a healthy and proud racial identity, preparing my child to deal with life's ills and stings. I care about letting her know that even when people say or do ugly things, that they don't define her. I care about continuing to tell her she should be proud because she is Black. She is unique.

she's baaack!

My girl Erykah Badu is back with her new single, Honey. Erykah's voice and lyrics take me to another level/place. I'm not claiming that she's so profound and deep, she just enhances my life with her gift from God. Take a listen...

cultural diffusion is what they call it now

I was tagged yesterday by my girl and fellow blogger mango mama (check out her blog Living Out LOUD http://livingoutloudnow.blogspot.com/) with a meme. What in the world is a meme? I surely didn't know. She told me it's when you are asked to share things about yourself and then you tag others, so the meme keeps going on. She told me she looked it up on google, so I did the same thing to get a better understanding. I'm new to this blogging thing and I wanted to do the right thing. Well, after looking at a few sites, I saw that a meme is a cultural diffusion, a theoretical unit of cultural information, a...chain letter. Yup, it's a good old fashioned chain letter. Mango mama didn't break the chain and neither will I.

I have been charged with sharing seven random tidbits about Jillybean...

1. I know how to do the soldier boy dance! I know, I'm almost 40, but you know I can't resist learning a new dance, line dance, or dance routine. (Don't let Thriller come on! I can crawl out of the ground and do it with the best of them. You have got to see my moonwalk. Ain't that right Auntie Jo?) Anyway, I got a short tutorial from my nephew M.H. and then Princess and I went on you tube and followed the tutorial. Well, we are two dancin' fools in here when Soldier Boy comes on. "Soldier Boy.....and superman and ho! Now watch me zoom like dat soldier boy." I love the superman part. We were jammin' to that this morning while she got dressed for school.


2. I went to Girls' High with Jill Scott. We were both on the school's choir, Treble Clef. As a matter of fact I was on there first, since she is younger than me. So, I can't figure out why she has the fabulous singing career and I don't. I know I sound good...in the shower. That's okay, my mom loves to hear me sing Hodie, Christus, Natust Est.

3. I hear myself sounding like my mother more often than I would like to admit:) One of my favorite Glo-isms comes out of my mouth when I hear, "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, Moooommmmmy, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy!" That's when I say, Mommy ran away!

4. I am writing a children's book. I have been for the past four years. Yeah, I started it when Princess was born. She's the inspriation. I got a little writer's block and haven't touched it since. I need to get on that. Especially since I'm feeling the writing bug.

5. I am going to be a part of Oprah's favorite things list in her O magazine for my natural thoughts, sistahs, and jillybabies lines of stationary, clothing, bedding, and children's furniture...one day. I am claiming that! That vibration is permiating the universe.

6. You all know that I love The Wiz, but Grease and Dirty Dancin' are numbers two and three on my favorite musical movie list! Go Grease Lightnin'! I've Had the Time of My Life! Oh, and back to item number one, I know the dance moves to go to these songs too.

7. I met Method Man, some other boy from Wutang (there are thousands of them...they are like clowns coming out of a car), and Redman. They gave me a shout out during the concert. They also politely asked me if I wanted some of their blunt since I was a teacher. FUNNY! I was also on stage with Dru Hill during a New Year's Eve party at Republic Gardens. Okay, I wasn't front and center singing Tell me What You Want with Cisco...I was more stage right...really stage right, but you could see me from the audience.

This was fun. Not like the old chain letters of the past. I like the meme. Now, I'm not sure who to tag because my blogging friends have already been tagged. I guess, I can tag all of you who read this blog. You can respond when you post a comment. I look forward to learning more about you;)

The Bean

We Need You...

I have felt a strong sense of uneasiness today. The uneasiness started yesterday afternoon when I heard that, Redskin football player, Sean Taylor had been critically wounded in his home with his girlfriend and daughter present. I'm not a serious Redskin fan. I know who Sean Taylor is, but I couldn't tell you what position he plays. But the violent invasion of his home and the senseless act that followed really upset me. I started praying.

I prayed. I didn't pray for Sean Taylor the professional, All-Pro, football player. I prayed for the Black man, the son, the father, the boyfriend, the friend, the cousin, the co-worker, the giver, the smile, the laughter, the intellect, the stature, the breath, the spirit. The unexplained violence against another Black man made me sick to my stomach. I prayed for healing. I prayed for the healing of our people. I prayed for the healing of his body. I prayed for his family...as I have for countless other Black men who have been victims of violent crimes against them.

I woke today to hear that Sean Taylor had died earlier in the morning. Wow... Another Black man gone because of senseless violence. I'm tired of this! I'm tired of people hurting other people! I'm tired of senseless violence! I'm tired of Black men dying! We need our Black men. We need our reflection. We need our strength. We need our intellect. We need our role models. We need our determination. We need our history. We need our protectors. We need our supporters. We need our creators. We need our inventors. We need our dreamers. We need our visionaries. We need our future. We need YOU, Black man.

I am thankful for the Black men who have helped shape my life...my daddy (need I say more), my Pop-Pop (set the standard), my brother (I love you), my Godfather (there's something in the name), my husband (my Rock), my son (can't imagine life without you), my brother-in-law (we've got our own thang), my uncles, my cousins, my friends, husbands of my friends, and children of my friends. In the words of Earth, Wind, and Fire, "Be ever wonderful. Time is right in your life tonight. Find your place in among the broadway light. Stay as you are, won't you stay in your own sweet way. Don't let the world change your mind." I need you. We need you. The world needs you...

Jill Scott sings about how much we can do on our own, but the truth is...We need YOU. Take a listen to her live performance in Paris and maybe this will soothe your soul...it has helped mine. May Sean Taylor and all of the other Black men who have died at the hands of violence rest in peace...

Extra, Extra! Read All about It!

I was in the middle of writing my post for today when I got distracted. I was listening to my ipod and searching for some appropriate music when I heard Harvest for the World by the Isley Brothers. That is my serious Thanksgiving song! "Gather every man. Gather every woman. Celebrate your lives. Give thanks for your children. Gather everyone. Gather all together. Overlookin' none. Hoping life gets better for the world....When will there be a harvest for the world?!"

Anyway, I was listening and then decided to read other blogs and web pages to help my juices flow. I checked out my girls' blogs The Crones' Kitchen http://thecroneskitchen.blogspot.com/2007/11/what-heck-is-crone-and-whats-up-with.html and Living Out LOUD http://livingoutloudnow.blogspot.com/, as well as my brother-in-laws webpage http://www.fiyastarter.com/ (it's satire at it's best folks). Then I took a look at my namesake's webpage, Still Me - The Cool Mom's Guide to Staying Hip http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/artsandliving/features/2006/still-me/ (because I think I am still hip;). Well, I have to say...job well done (as usual)! You made me look good girl! Check out the article at this link http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/11/26/AR2007112601063.html.

Thanks Jill for reminding us to be thankful for what we have (loving and caring families) and who we are(strong, beautiful, intelligent, funny,...Black women). Make sure to always, always, always...continue traditions (they are soothing to the soul and good for your kids), put love into your cooking (it makes things taste so much better. i know people say they put in their toe, but it's really love), and remember to carve out some space in the kitchen (yeah mama kim) for the womenfolk!

Thanks Jill!

talk to me

this blog has given me good vibrations... it has allowed me to write for a purpose. it has allowed me to communicate with my friends and family in a different way. it has caused me to look for the good in my life, even if it comes in the form of rough patches, because i know that a blessing is incoming. it has allowed me to share one of my gifts from God.

you all have given me positive feedback. i have heard how much you enjoy the blog. i have heard how the messages are right on time (watch 4 incoming, that's a part of the gift from God). thank you for those encouraging words. thank you for your open communication. thank you for all of your email messages...but, i would love for us to communicate on the blog page.

this blog is not just so you can read what's going on in my my life, my head and my heart. it is a place where we (everyone reading and i) interact, share, agree, disagree, vent, testify, shout, etc. so, please, please, please...write me back on the blog page. it's really not that hard. all you need to do is click on the comments link. it will take you to the page where you get a google account. if you have a google account, just sign in. if not, type in your email address, create a password, and create your display name. it's that simple!

please take a moment to write a comment on the blog page if you are moved to do so(thanks Dr. Monica - go Church Lane!, mama kim -you got me started, and mango mama - the inspiration) or if you're "in the zone" (isn't that right mommy?). you have a lot to share. you are intelligent. you are funny. your thoughts, comments, views and insights may be helpful to me or someone reading the blog.

so, in the words of tim gunn (in santino's voice), let's "make it work." and get this blog rolling.

can't wait to hear from ya.

the screams of passion

i've been hearing the screams of passion so much this weekend, that i think i'm going to join in. as much as i love the soundtrack from girl 6 (yes, it still plays in heavy rotation...just ask Bear, he'll tell you), that's not what i'm talking about. i'm talking about the strong, escalating, ear piercing screams of passion from my juicy boy because he doesn't want to go to sleep. mind you he is exhausted, but like his big sister, he is so nosy (i mean inquisitive--gotta watch the language), that he doesn't allow himself to sleep long!

juicy boy is seven months and three weeks now. he is very active. he's speed crawling all over the place. he's pulling up on anything and anybody (watch your legs) around. he loves to laugh, chase, roll around, and get pulled on the blanket by his sister. he participates in our evening dance party (oh, yeah, the stewart family is getting down to classic r & b every night courtesy of the channel on comcast) and has some mean moves;) he drools and makes us all laugh with delight at his husky laugh. he plays ball and his exersaucer keeps him actively entertained. we think we are wearing the boy down. we are wearing him down. juicy boy is tired around 7 or 8 at night. he goes to sleep right after miss princess. there is calm and peace in the house...until we hear those screams of passion 30 minutes later.

i call juicy boy's cries screams of passion because he is determined, no matter how long it takes (one night he screamed for over an hour...i was trying to ferberize him--too much for me!!) to get our attention, our hugs, our physical presence. he has this soothing crib toy that plays music in his crib that works for awhile and then the screams of passion start up again. he'll be comforted by Bear for awhile, but you know mama's got the goods and he's all over me sucking my face and pulling my hair to get his milk that i'm holding hostage. i feed on demand, so we make it work, but boy am i tired. juicy boy seems to like his milk every two to three hours! he used to wake up at night and self soothe a little more when he was younger. we've been trying to get him to self soothe again, but he ain't havin' it. now it seems like he's found his voice, literally, and we all get treated to the screams of passion a couple of times a night. we're lucky that miss princess needs her beauty sleep and once she's asleep, his cries don't wake her (thank you Lord).

Bear says that juicy boy just wants to be under his mommy. awwww. my heart is melting. juicy boy tugs at my heart strings just like the princess used to when she was his age. so, since she learned to sleep through the night, i know he will too. but in the mean time, i am floating on fumes. juicy boy serenades me nightly to those screams of passion (oooooh oooooh)...love for mommy...(that's my story and i'm sticking to it.)...how do i make it eveyr day? mother's love, ooh mother's love!

click one of the videos to the right and enjoy the real version of the screams of passion. they just take me back.

peace

cornucopia of happiness

it seems like puff the magic dragon (the princess),the pea in the pod (juicy boy), and i were just trick-o-treatin' last week, but Thanksgiving is just around the corner. literally. Thanksgiving is a special holiday. Thanksgiving is a spiritual holiday (religious and not religious). it is one when my spirit gets full. my spirit is full because of my love for my family and the gratitude i have for the blessings i have received.

i love my family! i love my family! i love my family! you know that my family members are my friends and my friends are my family members. i was so overjoyed this summer to go to our family reunion that i could barely contain my energy. i was hyped! i took over 100 pictures in three days of gg's (great grandmothers...shout out to princess' and juicy boy's Alice the Great!), neenee's (there's none betta than you glo!!!), buddah's (whose heart is soooo big?!!! do your cheeks hurt from smiling? pop-pop is smiling down on the legacy), aunties (or should i say slim goodie?), uncles, sisters, brothers (my twin in spirit...yeah, we really are related), cousins, wives, husbands (go Bear!), children, friends, craig an' 'em. i always feel a spiritual energy when i'm around my people. the hair on my arms literally stands up. i start talking fast and loud, my hands get all sweaty, and if i have my favorite family music on...(family reunion, harvest for the world, firecracker, that's what Christmas means to me my love, be grateful, etc.) i am just on fire in such a high vibration. so getting together on one day with the family for Thanksgiving just makes my heart feel good. we celebrate life (past, present, and future). we take time to be thankful for all of our many blessings. and you know that we what?...throw down (my brother makes some mean rolls and sweet potato pie)!!!

Thanksgiving is a day that i just think and thank all day long. God is awesome. one song that my cousin sara used to sing that is my Thanksgiving theme is be grateful. the song says, "be grateful because there's someone else worse off than you, be grateful because there's someone else who'd love to be in your shoes, be grateful, God said that He'd never forsake you, be grateful, for it will be alright...everything will be alright."

i am grateful for the many blessings that God bestows upon me and mine. i am grateful that i have a loving family. i am grateful for all of your friendships. i am thankful for the angels watching over me. i am thankful for my right mind (most of the time;) i am thankful for healthy and happy children. i am thankful for creativity. i am thankful for music...music is my life. i am thankful for intelligence, not measured, just mine. i am thankful for soul sistahs. i am thankful for ancestors. i am thankful for learning and growing. i am thankful for these things and so much more...

i am a cornucopia of happiness on Thanksgiving. i hope you feel the love overflowing in your direction.

pull out your silver slippers (or ruby red) and...ease on down

i watched the wizard of oz with my princess last friday night (fridays are our movie nights). i thought she should see the other version of the wiz. don'tcha like how in my life the wiz is the "original?" anyway...after looking at both movies on back to back fridays i thought about what draws me to them. i have everybody rejoice (can't you feel a brand new day?!) and if you believe (lena horne version) on my ipod. i sing the songs regularly and my princess and i have been easin' on down the road a lot lately. what i realized is that i love the message of the movies that says through it all; uncertainty, doubt, and fear, the power of overcoming and going beyond your situation lies within you.

the power of overcoming and going beyond your current situation or vision is something that i am working on. we are all like dorothy in her quest to get home...we have the power to (fill in your own blank) within us. that power within comes from God! dr. michael beckwith (ya'll know he's my man!! so anointed!!!!) tells us that the bible says, "it is done unto you as you believe" (you gotta check out this 30-minute sermon http://www.giftofagape.org/ ).

so, instead of looking at life from a deficit view (i'm broke, i don't have this, i can't do that...) i'm trying to look at life differently. i'm done with struggling (of my own doing) and fighting God's will. i am ready to do the work that allows me to recognize that i am available for something greater than what i can think or visualize at this time. i am ready to be so far outside of the box that the box is unrecognizable. i am available for the greater good...because i know that God is the power within me. i just need to remember to put on those silver or ruby red slippers each morning...so that i can ease on down the road (of life) with grace and spiritual dignity. now, please help me when i can't find my slippers in the closet.