Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Life is a kaleidoscope...but we're just fine!

I haven't written lately because I was blindsided a couple of weeks ago. I wasn't in an accident or anything, but I was completely knocked off guard by something that happened to a friend. She had a life change...the solid ground that she thought existed gave way. When I heard about what happened, I felt off balance. I felt like I was one of the pretty little gems stones in a kaleidoscope being turned around and around. My surroundings, life, and heart were the same, but mentally I was a bit topsy turvy.


As soon as the incident happened, I wanted to blog. I wanted to write and let the feelings ooze from my body to the keyboard. I wanted to get rid of the feelings of sadness. I wanted to move on and move past. I sat at the computer for days...and nothing happened. I listened to music...and nothing moved me to write what I was feeling. I "lurked" at other bloggers pages to see if I could find some inspiration to write, but nothing would was working. Finally, I sat still and began to digest what was going on and why it was affecting me this way.

I was doing something that I used to do often. I was taking on the energy of someone else's situation because they were close to me. My old thinking of giving so much of yourself to someone to let them know you cared reared it's ugly head again. Bear and I were talking about the situation and he reminded me that I was letting someone else's situation affect me again. I stopped and stepped back.

Being a good friend didn't mean that I should make her situation a part of my life. Being a good friend didn't mean that I should try to psychoanalyze the situation with/for her. Being a good friend didn't mean that I should personally feel hurt, or angry, or any negative feelings. Being a good friend didn't mean that I should walk around holding onto something that my friend let go.

I decided that as a good friend I would listen carefully. As a good friend I would empathize. As a good friend I would be there when/if she needed me. As a good friend I wouldn't dwell on the past, but enjoy dreaming about the future with her. As a good friend, I would speak in truth. As a good friend, I would recognize that my friend's life is defined by more than one situation. As a good friend, I would just be...me.

I spoke to my friend last week. She was doing well. She sounded good. She and I laughed. I enjoyed our conversation of she being she...and me being me.

As God's gems, I recognize that our lives are kaleidoscopes of experiences. These kaleidoscopes will continue to change throughout our lives. While we are turning and tossing through our experiences, it is important to step back and see how bright, vibrant, and exciting our lives are. Our lives have been be beautifully designed by the Master. We have to often step back from what may seem like a radical shake up to see the big beautiful picture that God has in store for us.

1 comment:

Mama Kim said...

I'm really going through it right now. I am so glad that I know you are there. My friend here in LA reminds me to feel everything, allow myseld to feel everything deeply. Right now, though, I just want to go to bed and put the covers over my head for a while.

Easier said, then done...

Still lovin' you

Me