Your Law Your Life

I was reading through my daily blogs and saw this meme on Tender Thoughts and she's so flyy and HAD to do it because its about music.

MEME Rules:
1. Put your itunes/music player on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER WHAT
After you’ve answered all of the questions, tag 5 other people and then let them know they’ve been tagged to do the meme themselves! - I'm not going to tag others, but do it if you have the chance. It's interesting...

If someone says, "Is this okay?" You say...
Shine On by L.T.D.
L.T.D. Greatest Hits

What would best describe your personality?
Having You There by Mississippi Mass Choir
Mississippi Mass Choir: Greatest Hits

What do you like in a guy/girl?
Feelin' the Same Way by Norah Jones
Come Away with Me

How do you feel today?
Fire and Rain by James Taylor
Greatest Hits

What is your life's purpose?
Au Natural by Sweetback
Sweetback

What is your motto?
Real Love by Speech
Speech's Best

What do your friends think of you?
Your Love is King by Sade
The Best of Sade

What do you think of your parents?
Back to Life by Soul II Soul
1989 Keep Movin' On

What do you think about often?
Total Praise (Live) by Richard Smallwood & Vision
The Praise & worship Songs of Richard Smallwood

What is 2+2?
No, No, No by Tony Touch
The Piece Maker

What do you think of your best friend?
Summer in the City by Incognito
Bees+Things+Flowers

What do you think of [your husband]?
Deja Vu (I've Been Here Before)
The Best of Teena Marie

What is your life's story?
Need You Tonight by INXS
Kick

What do you want to be when you grow up?
Peter and the Wolf: XII The Hunters Arrive by Prokofiev
Peter and the Wolf: David Bowie, Eugene Ormandy & The Philadelphia Orchestra

What do you think when you see the person you [love]?
It's Gonna Rain by Milton Brunson
Celebration of Joy

What will they play at your funeral?
Paradise by Sade
The Best of Sade

What is your hobby/interest?
You by Raheem DeVaughn
The Love Experience

What is your biggest secret?
Smile by Lalah Hathaway
Lalah Hathaway

What do you think of your friends?
Devotion by Earth, Wind & Fire
All and All

What should you post this as?
Your Law Your Life 12-20-06 by Rev. Michael B. Beckwith
AgapeLive iamplify

Very interesting....

Who Knew?

Last night I made a batch of brownies. My family loves brownies. I made brownies all of the time last summer. It got so bad that Bear told me not to make any more brownies because we were killing a batch every night...yeah, they were that good. He didn't want us walking around looking like the Klumps.

I made the brownies last night also because I needed to take dessert for my lunch bunch at school. Three students bid on a lunch bunch with me and a friend, where I bring the dessert, for my school's PTA silent auction. So, I get the brownie mix...I know you are not surprised that I am not a totally bake from scratch girl...the cake/brownie mixes with some enhancement go a looong way. The way I see it, they are still homemade since I make them in my home:)

Anyway, I put the kids to bed, participate in the the monthly teleconference with Rev. Beckwith (that's another post...so powerful...and I got through with my question AGAIN! I've gotten through the line three out of four times that I've participated. There are about 1500 people on the line and I seem to always get through), and I start making my brownies. I preheat the oven to 350 degrees. I read the directions (actually I glimpse at the pictures). I pull out my mixing bowl, get two eggs from the refrigerator, and measure my oil. I add everything to the mix and begin stirring. I think to myself, "wow this mix is awfully thick, I'm glad Princess isn't helping tonight because it would be too tough for her to stir." Nothing clicks. I pour the mixture into the pan, put it in the oven, and go on about my business for the next 30 minutes.

When I go check on my brownies to see if they need to cook about five minutes longer, I notice that the center of the brownies looks like regular brownies, but the edges look really dense. Uh-oh, as Juciy Boy says, I realize that I forgot to add the water to the mix! I tell Bear and he starts laughing at me and saying that he knew I couldn't read. He proceeds to go on asking how I can teach second grade and not know how to read. He says that I ask kids to read things in class because I can't read them myself, not because they need practice with fluency. He's got JOKES for days!

I don't know what to do to fix the situation. I suck it up and say to myself, "hey, it's late, that's what I made and that's what they'll get." When I woke up this morning and cut the brownies, they were dense, but extremely moist. I tasted a corner of the brownies and knew that I had a hit! The brownies were sooooo good! They were crusty on the edges and chewy gooey in the center like I love! The kids in the lunch bunch loved them. They asked me to make some for the entire class for the last day of school. Princess loved the brownies. She said that she ate her whole lunch so she could eat her brownie. She had a brownie for snack before dinner and got a little upset because she wanted a bigger piece. Yes...I have a new baking secret and I am sharing it with you...leave the water out of the Betty Crocker brownie mix. Try it, I'm sure you'll thank me for the tip...Watch out Food Network!!

Believe in Yourself

We have witnessed and lived through a poignant moment in history. Barack Obama will be the Democratic nominee for President of the United States. If I could speak to Senator Obama, I would share these words that Glinda the Good Witch (Lena Horne) said best...

If you believe
Within your heart you'll know
That no one can change
The path that you must go
Believe what you feel
And know you're right, because
The time will come around
When you say it's yours
Believe there's a reason to be
Believe you can make time stand still
You know from the moment you try
If you believe
I know you will
Believe in yourself, right from the start
You'll have brains
You'll have a heart
You'll have courage
To last your whole life through...If you believe in yourself...If you believe in yourself...If you believe in yourself...As I believe in you!

I BELIEVE IN BARACK OBAMA! I BELIEVE A CHANGE IS GONNA COME! YES WE CAN!!!

Double Vision...

No, that's not Juicy Boy and Princess, that's my brother and I. I look at my kids and see us. Isn't it interesting the way our genes combine...

I Release and I Let Go...

I've lost weight and I feel
wonderful!

I feel much lighter without the weight, physically and mentally. I didn't go on any particular diet to lose the weight, although I did increase my daily water intake. I didn't begin a special exercise regiment, although I have begun to walk around my neighborhood since the temperature has warmed up. These things combined with the most powerful factor to my weight loss have allowed me to get rid of the fat suit.

I feel like the workers in The Wiz when Evillene, the Wicked Witch of the West, melts into the toilet at the end of the movie. I feel like I've peeled off the ugly fat suit I was wearing to reveal a beautifully sculptured body (my body doesn't look like theirs, but I like the skin that I'm in). I sing a song rejoicing that I've lost the weight. Ya'll know I love The Wiz.

The most powerful component of my weight loss has been/is my spiritual and personal growth. I know it sounds very new age and cliche, but it's true. When I was placed on bed rest for Juicy Boy, I had to be still. During that stillness, I realized some things. I realized that I was depressed and had been for quite some time. I realized that I didn't value myself. I realized that I made sacrifices for everyone else but myself. I realized that I lived for everyone else but myself. I realized that my previous job for the U.S. Department of Education, while prestigious and financially rewarding, sucked the life out of me. I realized that I loved everyone else but myself.

It seems that for years people had been telling me to take time for myself, I said I would, but I never did. Bear used to encourage me to go out and do something for myself, buy something for myself, have some me time. I would go out, and come back with things for him and/or Princess and not myself. I stopped doing the things that I enjoyed doing like going to the bookstore, walking, shopping, drawing, writing, creating. I stayed in a comfort zone with family and friends who wouldn't/didn't talk about the person they saw disappear before their eyes. They didn't talk about the woman who stopped wearing make up. I didn't wear a lot before, but I only wore make up if it was a special occasion. They didn't talk about the woman who was so active before, but who was always tired. They didn't talk about the woman who could THROW DOWN some food. They didn't talk about the woman who liked to disappear in the group and who would encourage, cheer on, and support others. They didn't talk about the woman who wore black all of the time because she thought it made her look slimmer (I still love black, but for different reasons). They didn't talk about the woman who thought she was chunky but funky, but who knew deep down inside that she was just getting bigger and bigger and who didn't feel funky at all. They didn't talk about the woman who felt out of control, but who attempted to appear to have it all together (and I don't think I was successful at creating that appearance).

While on bed rest, I realized that I was more than the life I was living. I realized that if I wanted to live a different life, I was responsible for designing it with my dreams and actions. I realized that no one, not even my Bear, could give me the life I wanted to live but me. I also realized that God made me and I am His child, so I couldn't be as bad as I felt.

So the search began to find Jill. I honestly didn't know who the real Jill was. I knew the person who did what she thought she was supposed to do. I knew the person who did things to please other people. I knew the Jill who kept on the safe path because...well, it was safe. I was looking for the Jill who loves the sunshine on her face and skin. I was looking for the Jill who is very passionate about education, literature, and art. I was looking for the Jill who has a soundtrack accompanying her daily life. I was looking for the Jill who loves who she is and how she looks. I was looking for the Jill who loves herself so much that she is able to love in a healthy way. I was looking for the Jill who saw God and His miracles everyday in the "ordinary."

I found that extremely special Jill. I found her in my journal writings that allowed me to bleed out the negative experiences and thoughts that had become a part of me. I found her in a renewed relationship with God via the ministering of Rev. Dr. Michael Beckwith. I found her in the daily miracles that God shares with us in the "ordinary." I found her in the music that is the soul of my life via the ipod my parents gave me. I found her in the agape love, encouraging words, and recognition of my growth from Bear. I found her in the hugs and kisses from Princess and Juicy Boy. I found her in my friendships...my personal angel network. I found her in creating my cards. I found her in completing my book. I found her in writing this blog. I found her in making a difference at my job. I found her in my evolving style. I found her in walking and even attempting to run for exercise. I found Jill!

I found myself again because as the song says, "I release and I let go, I let the Spirit run my life, and my heart is open wide, Yes it's only up to God, no more struggle no more strife, with my faith I see the Light, I am free in the Spirit, Yes I'm only here for God!"

I Am Not My Hair...

So...I went home and tried to get my hair trimmed because my ends were a little split. I was telling my dad that I wanted to try to go to my mom's stylist to see if she could cut my hair and he suggested that I let her "do" it. I said, okay, if she can squeeze me in, I would let her "do" it. She said she could take me!

Immediately I got excited! I haven't been to a hair dresser since 1991. Yes, that is the last time I had perm in my hair. I was a close cut natural girl until two years ago when I decided to make some changes in my life. One of those changes was to grow hair.

The process of growing my hair has truly been a journey. In a matter of three weeks after making my decision to grow hair, I had to find stuff to put in my hair to moisturize it. I dyed it light brown. I dyed it a shade of red. Then I dyed it blond...at least it that was my intention. I thought I was going to have a platinum blond teeny weeny afro, but what I got was more strawberry blond. Oh, well...I rocked it for a minute. It got on my nerves and I dyed my hair again to try to get to my natural color. That lasted for awhile, but my tips stayed blond. That gave me a funky look for my braid-outs, coils, coil-outs, twists, twist-outs, and my favorite Angela Davis fro. I have fallen in love with my texture and the way my hair responds to different styling techniques. I have also fallen in love with Miss Jessie's hair products! (www.missjessies.com) I don't know how to be natural without them. They have been really good for my hair.

So, I go to the hair salon and tell Melessa to work her magic. She always makes Glo look fly and I knew that I would too. So, they washed and conditioned my hair...it was very relaxing. They blew my hair dry with a brush (not a roller blow dry, but just a regular brush). After that, the straightening comb came out and I began reminiscing about spending time in my Nanny's shop. She straightened my hair and then flat ironed it. Then Melessa finally trimmed my ends...the reason for me being there:) During this time, I read and talked to her. I looked around at what was going on in the shop. I did everything but look at myself because she had my chair positioned so I couldn't see. Melessa started clicking the flat iron and before I knew it I was done and looking in the mirror.....WOW!

I couldn't believe my eyes. I grinned and thanked her for such a wonderful job. I had straight hair...and quite a bit of it. I haven't had this much hair on my head probably since I was ten years old. I went home and my mom and dad just smiled and smiled. My Nanny couldn't believe that I got my hair straightened! She used to always say, "so you still have those naps, huh?" Getting my hair done was worth it. It made my dad happy. I reminded him that this was temporary, but that I would keep it up for awhile. He knows, when it gets hot...the kinks are coming back!

The reactions to my hair have been varied. My husband just laughed and grinned when he saw me for the first time! Bear has never known me with hair and he said it was such a different look that he couldn't stop staring. My Godmother and Godsisters said they couldn't believe that I had so much hair on my head. People at work walked by me a couple of times before they realized it was me. The comments have been very positive. One comment that I liked was from a teacher at school who said that she liked my hair, but that my natural hair reflected my personality more. It has also been different to have men who used to smile and speak to me at the market, not recognize me with straight hair, while others speak more than ever.

I love my hair. Not because it's straight, but because it is versatile and healthy. My hair is like a new accessory! It is an expression of who I am and how I am feeling on any particular day. I have been keeping my hair up for the past four weeks now. It has been interesting learning to sleep on rollers again, using a straightening comb and flat iron. I had to go out and buy a brush and hair pins last weekend. I learned that I MUST keep a rain hat with me during this lovely spring shower mist that we experience every other day in northern Virginia. If I don't, I come home looking like "James Brown after he was arrested," according to my lovely Bear. He's always got jokes! Talking about "We're gonna have a funky good time!"

So, I'll keep you posted about the hair thing. In the mean time, I am enjoying my new
hair(style).

Sista Soul

Last weekend, my linesister Miz Dazey celebrated her 40th Birthday party with a Monte Carlo night event. When we heard about the party, I immediately called on the best babysitters out there, my Goddaughters, the S Girls. The oldest S Girl couldn't come because she had a dance audition at one of the universities she was accepted to for fall '08 (I Feel Like Chicken Tonight!). The youngest S Girl said she would spend the weekend with us and keep Juicy Boy and Princess. YES!

I went and found a really cute black sequined halter dress with Mommy and knew I was going to be looking fly. That is until I tried it on the night before and realized for a number of reasons, this was not the dress. I went out the morning of the party with Miz Dazey (one of my fashion consultants) to find a dress. I tried on a good 12 -14 dresses (many of which looked way better on my body than they did on the hanger) to get down to the final four. I chose a sexy wine colored body hugging dress that made me STRUT my stuff. This was such a special affair, that I went and found two sets of accessories (in case one looked better than the other with my jeweled FM shoes), and even went and got my make up done.

Well, when I got home with my face made up, Bear gave me the perfect reaction--a huge smile. After I showed him the dress with the shoes, he said he wasn't sure we were going to make it to the party!!! I finally did my hair and put my shoes on and I FELT LIKE CINDERELLA going to the ball.

Bear and I had our first date night since I was placed on bed rest November 21, 2006. It was nice to get dressed up and go out dancing like we used to. Bear was looking very dapper too! We laughed, we talked, we reminisced, we dreamed. We danced and just enjoyed each other's company. We celebrated Miz Dazey's life and how she makes the life of everyone she meets better and brighter. We hung out with Mommy and Daddy (they were at the shindig too!). Date night was revived. I was Bear's SOUL SISTA...

I had a wonderful night out with my husband. I'm just glad that I felt equally as beautiful inside as I did outside and my fairy tale didn't end at midnight.

This is my JAM!

Have you ever had a JAM that you feel down in your bones every time you hear it? Well, Hot Music by Soho is mine. This song takes me back to my days at University of Maryland, College Park sweatin' in Prinkert Gym for a party. I tried to put it on my iPod, but iTunes doesn't have it yet. I jammed to it last weekend at my linesister Miz Dazey's 40th Birthday Celebration! It makes me want to jump! Jump! Jump!

Move your body...rock your body...move your body! Gotta have House Music all night long!!!

My Beautiful, Beautiful Beautiful Boy!

On March 31st, my beautiful baby boy turned one year old! I thanked God, I cried, and I shouted at the miracle that I was blessed to receive. Who knew at 21 weeks, that this juicy bundle of joy would change my life in the way he has. Juicy Boy is healthy, intelligent, active (running away with a spin move that always makes me laugh), inquisitive (yeah ya'll, he's nosy), and always processing things. He loves to laugh (at things, at you, at himself). He wrestles anyone who gets on the floor (thanks Bear and Princess). He gives the best hugs (with the little nuzzle in the neck). And...he loves his mommy. I AM BLESSED! Thank you Lord for giving us a wonderful year with Juicy Boy. I look forward to many more.

It's Been a Long Time...

It's been a long time...since I've blogged. I thought I was just taking a "spring break," but life seemed to think I needed a little more time away from the blogging. I miss sharing my thoughts and updates on my life happenings. So, it's good to be back!

I'm going to write a few diffrent entries to share what's been happening in my life. I hope that you enjoy and we get caught up. Thanks for still visiting my site.

Jillybean